I am a dog person.  As a child I had collies,  During my married life, we mostly have had standard poodles.  Poodles are wonderful pets,  They are the second smartest breed (border collies are first}, are funny, sweet, and love everybody.  We got Lucy as a puppy some 20 years ago,  Her color was apricot.   After we had her for a couple of weeks, our 33 year old son, Mike, came to visit and we took a picture of him asleep in a chair with Lucy asleep in his lap. Two week later, Mike died in a diving accident.  (Mike was our miracle baby. 

We tried unsuccessfully to conceive a child for 5 years and I was in infertility treatment at Mayo clinic in Rochester, Mn.  I was getting the results of my latest test which would indicate if my Fallopian tubes were open.  The results were negative. The doctor said that along with all my other problems my chances of ever conceiving were nil.   A few weeks later, I missed my period,  I was pregnant!  I was pregnant at the time of the test and it was the fertilized egg blocking the tube!)

In processing our grief while looking at his last picture with Lucy, we started pretending Lucy was Mike incarnate  When I yearned for Mike I would cuddle Lucy.  Lucy sensed my sadness and would love me back.  Lucy slept with us at night and she would share my pillow with me and I would spoon her.  These moments were magical.  The feelings of love exchanged were healing. 

Since Lucy was Mike incarnate we wanted to keep her alive forever just like we wanted to keep Mike alive forever.  So we bred Lucy and kept a puppy, Sharlie Brown (black), then we bred Sharlie and kept a puppy, Snoopy (brown).  Now Snoopy is 12 years old and hasn’t much time left.  We didn’t breed Snoop, so soon it will be time to say good bye.  Lucy helped us through some rough times.  We are going to try life without a dog.  If we don’t succeed. we will rescue an old dog to grow old with us.